Why Hire A Writer?

A normal person says "you are a pain in the ass."

A writer says, "you are a raging irritated blood vessel sequestered deep in the cavity of my ass."

Nuff said.

Valentine New Year

Dracula's Welcome ...

Saw this poster today on Etsy.com and couldn't resist the draw of Dracula!

"Welcome to my home. Come freely, go safely. And leave something of the happiness you bring." Bram Stoker's Dracula

Wolf Moon ...

Tonight is a wolf moon - the brightest and closest full moon of the year! Add to that Mars is right next to it and it's a a great night for making wishes ... Only one warning, be careful what you wish for because you might get it!

Too Busy?

You know you're too busy when 'clean underwear' is an oxymoron! lol

Tight Ass

I passed a lady today,

while hiking in the hills of Encino,

whose mere countenance was so uptight I felt my sphincter constrict 3 centimeters!

Seriously, I didn't think it was possible to hike on a day like this and not smile or feel ecstatic! She proved me wrong!

Nuff said.

Stray Cat Blues ...

"There'll be a feast if you just come upstairs ...

Scratch my back, you're a stray, stray cat,

bet your Momma don't know you scream like that!"

Rolling Stones

There's a stray cat that's trying to adopt me, I call him 'Stripes' for obvious reasons. He follows my big scary dog and me on walks, he's found where I live, but he's NOT coming in! I'm SO DONE WITH STRAYS!

Control is an Illusion

People say to me all the time, "I've got things under control."

All I say back is, "Really, good luck with that, 'cause we make plans and the gods laugh!"

Who's pulling your strings today?

Get it While You Can ...

Every time I start feeling normal, life creeps in. Today the antidote was Janis ... and an OCD playlist that included Try, Mercedes Benz and Get it While You Can.

Words of wisdom for the damaged hearts out there ... "if someone comes along and wants to give you love and affection, then get it while you can ... cause you might not be here tomorrow."

Carpe Diem!

Life in the Toilet

Some days I just want to throw an M-80 in the toilet that has become my life.