How I Deal With Drama ....

A Wish ....

For a mate who loves me enough to really have my back!

I'm Done- NOT!

Well, it's taken a lot but I am really done with the guy I was dating. And believe me it's sad because he came highly recommended, looked good on paper and appeared to be 'the one.'

I am also not so young anymore so I took the plans we had for marriage and family very seriously!  Very seriously! So my heart is breaking not only for the relationship, but for the loss of time ... tick tock, tick tock, goes the biological clock!

I have to accept it.  I have to accept where I am today.  I am working on a campaign for a spiritual teacher of mine and her big thing is acceptance.  Accept things as they are at this moment, not as we wish they were.  Accept who we are at this moment.

I have to accept that at this moment I am disappointed, and I am really, really pissed the fuck off! This wasn't the case until yesterday when the amoeba with arms and legs had his best friend call me and say oh the baby mama unfriended you on Facebook .... seriously!?!  A grown man who is supposed to be in charge of millions of dollars of people's assets (he's a financial planner - and I thought he was a genius at it, but ... ) cannot even manage his own social media page!  R U Kidding??? WTF???  Perhaps I should post the spine again as a reminder to this guy of what a backbone looks like!

Anyway, there's a joke on my favorite show Sons of Anarchy where this guy who compulsively jerks off (or used to until an Asian gang cut his fingers off)  says "I accept that."

So the word acceptance makes me chuckle a little.  Can I say I accept that I am mad?  No, that I am furious, livid, frothing at the mouth, frustrated break something angry?  Sure I can accept that! So I guess I'm not so done as I thought.

When you are done, you are done.  You are back to neutral.  I am nowhere near neutral.  I am still in the red.  Seeing red.

But it's not serving me .... resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies! LOL

I must let go of the resentment!  Good luck with that. I am human, and I guess that is my point.  I'll be done when I"m done. This is like a splinter that's buried deep and needs to work it's way out.

It hurts like heck for the first few days, then goes to a dull throbbing, then eventually, it fades away and you forget it's there and before you know it, presto!  It's healed.  I  may have to adjust the timetable a little ... but the point is healed = done!

Hopefully I'll be healed soon!  I got a business to build, I got lots of people who are counting on me to bring light into the world. But here, this is the place for balance.  Here is the place for dark.  Here is the place where I can stop being Susie Sunshine and become Desiree Darko!   The bitch that I was born to be!

So wrapping this up ... while I am trying to be done, I am clearly not.  "That which you resist persists."  I forget who said it, but they were smart ... so here I am not resisting my dark side.  Truthfully, I am SO NOT DONE!  But I'm working on accepting that and that's all I can do for today.

Desiree Darko, over and out!

Truth Will Out!

I had hoped to marry him and grow old together .... but alas I discovered who he truly was!

Dis-Armored Heart

Insolidus Corculum Praecaveo

Tender Hearts Beware

This is What A Spine Looks Like

You know WHY!!!!

Never Wrestle with a Pig

The word for the day is "Really?"

or maybe "Seriously?"

I've been having trouble with my pseudo ex-boyfriend's baby mama.  Reader's Digest version ... started dating this guy in August 28 at my friend's wedding.  He was kind and decent and single and available. He also had two kids, but I love kids so I figured ... let's do this thing.

Our first date felt like 'home.'   Don't know how many of you have ever felt that way, but it was the most peaceful and comfortable feeling ... cut to:

A few months later this chick appears out of the blue ... October 30 for me, that's the date he took me to the SC Homecoming game ... and says she's pregnant with his kid.  He tells me, he says he's not in love with her, he loves her as a friend ... but wants to stay with me.  He's in love with me.  Ok, so I figure this is the 21st century things are complicated.  No big deal ... we're all adults (that was my first incorrect assumption), so we can work it out.

Cut to ... Christmas when he disappeared.  Turns out the baby mama turned up on his doorstep with no place to go and being the nice guy that he is, he let her in.  WRONG MOVE!!!

She's still there, she's had the baby, and is now acting like the lady of the manner.  She's been blogging about me and tagging my BUSINESS and calling me names and threatening to kick my face in with her friends ... online!  Idiot! That's a criminal threat.  I have filed a police report and am following up ... I want charges to to pressed.  I'm not taking this lying down.

I am not the dirty mistress she is making me out to be.  (Did I mention she's a bit delusional???)

Anyway, I serve her with a cease and desist and tell her about the criminal report.  And she still keeps writing!!!!  Ghetto Lindey so wants to regulate ... but I am not that person. I am the nice girl (don't know when that happened, but it did) who goes through proper channels.

But today, she tweeted that I should leave HER alone!  IS SHE KIDDING????

SHe attacks me, my character, my business and reputation (which I've spent thousands building) and when I ask her to stop, I should leave her alone. REALLY???? SERIOUSLY???  I am the bad guy.   I think she may be crazy.  SHe's admitted that in her blog, so this is common knowledge.

So what the heck do I do about this? Ignore her.  I've been trying, but there's only so much I can take.

I am focused on positive things ... building a business that inspires others to do the same. Writing a song to honor my Dad, cooking food for a friend who's husband was just committed to a home for dementia .... this is life and death stuff ... not this other bullshit.

But still .... it gets to you! Or at least to me. How can I make her stop?  I guess I can't.  I can only control my reaction to her ...

Ok, so besides , really and seriously ... here's the thought for the day ...

"Never wrestle with a pig, because you both get dirty only the pig likes it!"

Here's to staying out of the pigpen and keeping my side of the street clean!